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Old Man Death and Raf the Rat
Now the tale of how Raf the Rat tried to cheat Old Man Death is a new one, and it comes out of Tannoril: and that right there is two strikes against it being true. But too many men have told the same story, and sworn to've seen it with their own eyes, for it not to be told once again.
So this is how it goes:
Raf the Rat was a squealer, and he was known far and wide for it. Not a soul in Tannoril would give him a clipped copper, not if he needed it to bury his dear old mother, for there's nothing happens in that town that isn't a sin one way or another, and no crook's got time for a rat. The Yrilles of the Coeur would've turned their noses up at him, he was that dirty and that dumb. Mostly Raf spent his days sitting in a tavern feeling sorry for himself. That kind of work he could do all day long, and the barmen were glad to have him, on account of he spared them the cost of a dartboard.
One night, Old Man Death stopped by his bar. Now he wasn't troubling to hide who he was: he didn't go about pretending to be a real man. Oh no. Old Man Death came into that bar as a huge hulking AEsir. He was nine feet tall, pale and cold as a corpse three days dead, and he had a pair of great big reaper-swords crossed behind his back. His eyes were like the pits of hell, and when he talked it set chairs to rattling on their legs, because even the wood was afraid.
"I'm looking for some sinners," Old Man Death boomed, and every chair in the tavern got to rattling harder'n a Ygorlite's lucky dice. "Heard they might be somewheres in here."
Now as soon as he spoke, every man in that room started staring hard at his drink or counting the hairs on his thumbs, because there wasn't a one of them that hadn't sinned ten times since he last took a piss, and probably twice more then.
Every man in that room, except Raf.
Who popped his head up, happy as a halfling hearing "free pie!," and called out: "I'll tell you! Which ones you want? I'll tell you right where they are!"
And Old Man Death just turned around, grinning his horrible ghouly smile, and said: "That so? Well then, young man, I will give you this here gold coin if you will tell me where all my sinners is at." And he rattled off some names, booming each one like he was calling the body to the grave right then and there, and damned if Raf didn't rattle out where each man laid his head of a night.
Old Man Death smiled again -- he was like a skull, he was all smiles -- and bowed his head, and he went off to collect them. Raf just sat there waiting, bouncing in his chair and thinking about all the ale he could buy with that coin. Every man there left, but for Raf and the barman, because nobody wanted to drink with Old Man Death and even fewer wanted to drink with Raf.
A little before dawn, Old Man Death came back to the bar. His reaper-swords were dripping blood and his cold white hands were red to the elbow, and his smile was ghoulier than ever. Raf hopped right up, like a dog to his master, and said: "Now how about that coin?"
Old Man Death just chuckled, and there's never been a grimmer sound. The barman, hiding back behind his counter pretending to clean a glass, shivered so hard he dropped it, and the glass was so scared to make a noise, it didn't break.
"You've earned your coin," said Old Man Death. "Done some good work today. Some of those sinners I'd been hunting a long time. Just couldn't find them, with all the others in these parts. Let's shake on a deal well done, then, and you'll have your coin."
Well, Raf didn't think anything of it, he stuck his hand right out to shake. And Old Man Death grabbed it good, pulled him close, and sucked every last bit of life out of his corpse. And as he dropped poor dead Raf to the ground, he tossed a gold coin on the body and said: "But you were the biggest sinner of all, betraying your brothers like that." And then he shook his head, and walked out the door, and left the barman to clean up the mess.
Which he did, being a barman in Tannoril. Hard to last in that business if you can't.
They sent Raf to the ovens with the coin in his hands. Didn't nobody want to touch it, first on account of it coming from Old Man Death, second on account of it coming from Raf. Might be the only time anyone's sent money to the fires in that town -- if the Councilmen didn't take it. Old Man Death's not likely to scare some of them.
As for Old Man Death, he's not been seen since. Likely he'll be back soon, though, sinners in Tannoril being what they are. Plentiful then, and plentifuller now.
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